live4friends'+writing

__//**1st draft!**//__ creative writing/ think once than think again!

Once a pone a time 1000 years ago in the wild Jungle in Asia there lived the Tigers. They were the Kings, and Queens over all the Jungle animals. They Ruled the Earth, and were nice to their surroundings. Tigers were good leaders until people started taking over. they were nasty to all animals, and killed everything in sight. Those Horrible men took a baby tiger from it's home. all the other tiger set out to look for them, but in time returned with no hope. The next day the King & Queen went to look for the lost cub. They found the cub just in time, to see it cuddling a little girl. The tigers went back to get the whole group. (these couldn't be the things they saw taring up everything in sight). Could they? Since then the tigers have been having all different kinds of cats, and most of those cats we know today as house cats.

THE END

The reason I wrote this story is to teach people a lesson. Say if you think your little brother or sister took something from you, but you don't know what. You should make sure they actually did it before you start "pointing fingers."
 * The Moral**

My 2 idioms: 1) apple of the animals eyes, & 2)out of the blue.

This is what's going to happen. This is what's going to happen. 1)The tigers are going to rule the earth. 2)Then the people are going to take over. 3)One of the little tigers are going to jump in a bag and be taken away. 4)all but one of the grown up tigers are going to go look for the cub, but are going to return with no luck. 5)The king and queen find the cub and every one lives happily ever after!

__//**2nd draft!**//__ //Creative Writing/Think Once Think Twice!//

Once upon a time, 1000 years ago in the wild jungle in Asia, there lived a clan of tigers. Not only did they rule the Earth, but the took good care of the jungles & were the apple of the animals eyes. They were the Kings, and Queens over all the jungle animals. Tigers were good leaders but then people started taking over. They were terrifying and nasty to all animals, and killed/ruined everything in sight. Those horrible men took a tiger cub from it's home, "or so the tigers thought." The next morning all the other tigers set out to look for the tiny tiger cub, but in time returned with no hope or luck of ever finding the tiger. After a few days the King & Queen fought storms and dirt to try and find the lost cub. Out of the blue they found the cub cuddling a little girl, and her loving it back. The little child, they found out, could speak the foxes' language! All the 2 tigers went back to get the whole pack, but then they thought, "these couldn't be the things they saw tearing up everything they saw. Could they?." it's weird, that girl they saw had a tiger of her own, only it was black, brown, and gray, and way smaller that any of the orange and black ordinary tigers! Later a tiger mated and had babies with that weird animal. These tigers are what is now the ordinary house cats we have today.


 * THE END**

The reason I wrote this story is to teach people a lesson, say if you think your little brother or sister took something from you, but you don't really know if it was them, you should make sure they actually did it before you start "pointing fingers."
 * The Moral**

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 * THE END**

Hi` this is Dylan k. I heard that tigers were good leaders until people took over. I heard that they were nasty to all the animals. I heard that the tigers were good to there surroundings. The bad men took the baby cub from its mother and the other tiger went out to look for him. I liked your story and I think you might want to write a little more.

__**Live4boys comment!**__ I liked...How you wrote enough to be a paragraph.

You need to write more describing words and longer sentence's.

I wonder why the nasty men killed everything in sight.

I will give you a example and you can get some idea's.

Once a pone a time there were nasty little tiger that was in charge of the whole big jungle. Until this one gloomy day they say this weird creature that we know as humans. They were cutting down trees and taking homes away from nice Little furry animals. The lion needed to put a stop to this horrible thing... So one day he got all the other little animals and said "we need to destroy those blobs" (that's what they called the the humans.) So when the blobs came they started chasing after them and they chased them write out of there. All the animals cheered with happiness and they started making new homes

meyerisland chief writes: check your spelling and grammar add more adjectives & adverbs (describing words) to really bring the story visually to life for your reader. fix your spacing - it is way off and makes it hard to read

__//**3rd draft**//__ //Creative Writing/Think Once thanThink again!//

Once upon a time, 1000 years ago in the wild jungle in Asia, there lived a clan of tigers. Not only did they rule the Earth, but they took good care of the jungle, and the animals in it.They were known as the apple of the animals eyes. They were the King, and Queen over all the jungle animals. The tigers were good leaders but then people started taking over. They were terrifying and nasty to all animals, and killed/ruined everything in sight. Those horrible men took a tiger cub from it's home, "or so the tigers thought." (this is what really happened). One of the men left their bag on the ground and the tiger cub plopped into it. Before the cub could get out the man picked up the bag and was off!) The next morning all the other tigers set out to look for the tiny tiger cub, but in time returned with no hope or luck of ever finding the baby tiger. After a few days the King & Queen fought storms and dirt to try and find the lost cub. Out of the blue they found the cub cuddling a little girl, and her loving it back. The little child, they found out, could speak the foxes' language! The two tigers went back to get the whole pack, but then they thought, "these couldn't be the things that we saw tearing up everything in sight. Could they?." It's weird, that girl they saw had a tiger of her own, only it was black, brown, and gray, and way smaller that any of the orange and black ordinary tigers! Later a tiger mated and had babies with that weird animal. These tigers are what is now the ordinary house cats we have today.

I wrote this story is to teach people a lesson, say if you think your little brother or sister took something from you, but you don't really know if it was them, you should make sure they actually did it before you start "pointing fingers." I LIKE YOUR WRITING WHAT DID THE TIGER KING AND QUEEN DO TO THE CUB AND GIRL AFTER ALL I THINK YOUR STORY IS GREAT CAUSE I LIKE A LOT OF ANIMALS DO YOU? WHY DID YOU MAKE THE STORY ABOUT ANIMALS AND NOT PEOPLE?DID THE LITTLE GIRL STAY WITH THE CUB OR DID THE KING AND QUEEN EAT HER? HOW ARE THE KING AND QUEEN WERE CALD? IF YOU LIKE ANIMALS (MAYBE) WILL YOU LIKE TO SAFE THE WORLD?AND WHATS THE CUB NAME? - BRUNE!
 * The Moral**