live4boys'+writing

There was a Little kid he loved cows he had one of his own but his sister got sick and they had to sell it. The poor little boy cried and cried but he new that he would always remember that cow! One day he was walking to school and he walked past this farm he saw cows! but there was a bully that came around her that gave the little boy a hard time anyway he was walking and looking at the cows and walked right into the bully! the bully huffed and puffed and knocked the little kid down. the bully started punching the kid then a cow came over kicked the bully and the bully started crying and ran as fast as he can he was scared off cows since then! Then the little boy got up and started petting the cow then he realized that it was his old cow he hugged him ! then he rode that cow to school he was so happy to see his cow again! But when he took the cow home he didn't want to leave so he pretend to be a cow but the farmer yelled at the kid and told the kid to get of his farm so the kid ran home crying but he was happy that he could see the cow again! The End! The moral of this story is count on things in life something may start out bad but end up good!

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I wonder what the kids name was? I wonder if the cow even had a name? I wonder how could the boy could even paint the two cows because cows move alot and I wonder how they could have a white and black spotted cow. I was looking for a little more describing words but it is still good. exaple you could say that the cow was a big huge cow. I understood your story was about a big fat brown cow. I wonder were you got the other cow from? I wonder why the boy spent all his money on oreos cookies. good gob from Jochris! :)

meyerislandchief writes: check your spelling and grammar, & capitals add more adjectives & adverbs (describing words) to really bring the story visually to life for your reader. work in quotes, breaking your dialog up into smaller paragraphs with each new speaker being a new paragraph

Dear Live4boys, That syory I loved your story I wonder why did the bully was hiting the litle boy and wich was the name of the little boy. I like the part when the cow hit the bully and knocked him down to protect the little kid. I think that if you continue riting it would be much beter. I have a question about your riding were did you got the idea from your story.

Dear live4boys, Not to be rude but you have a lot of words that are missed spelled and not capitalized. Once again not to be rude but if you are a fast typer you make a want to slow down. I think you should give a little descirpion about the farmer and his farm. What's he like? What kind of land is his farm on? Does he have any thing else then cows? When your story took place what was the weather like. I have just one question! Wat gave you the idea to write about farms and cows.