maddog56's+writing

__**brainstorm**__ moral.don't get stressed out and do not brag __idioms.__ 1 don't throw the baby out with the bathwater 2 don't count your eggs before they hatch

__4 to 5 things that will happen in your story__ 1 the pig will brag a lot. 2 he gets stressed because he is dirty 3 he gets over his fear 4 he gets a big scratch 5 and two wrongs do not make a right

__**rough draft**__There once was a pig that was brown he seen all the rest of the pigs were pink he was sad.He tried to paint himself pink but it got worst and worst. His owner called for him to give him a bath but he was so depressed that he did not want to move but he had to so he took a bath he looked in the mirror and it was a miracle he was pink again he sprinted outside and showed every body that he was pink it was a farm miracle.

There was a pig that lived on a farm he was shining in the light with pink shining off he heard a gun shot **BANG**! the pig raced towards the barn he stumbled down a hill shouting **help** ouch oh ow the pig hit a big puddle **spa-lush** he was drenched in brown stuff (mud) he was the pinkest of all the pigs but now he was now the dirtiest of them all he was miserable he had to take a bath witch he hated because he was dirty he tried to run up to a tree and just brush the mud off if he hit the tree at the right angle he tried bur the only thing he got out of it was a big scratch on him it was time for a bath he jumped into the tub and he started to get back to be pink he splashed and flopped he was finally pink again it was a miracle.
 * __Revised__**

Where's your second version changes? Get a peer to give you feedback if your Mizzouri buddy hasn't. __- I think you should add a lot more talking in it because it's kind of boring with no talking. Also add more detail to your because it's really short. I'm sorry that you didn't have anyone to comment on your legend.

meyerislandchief writes: check your spelling and grammar add more adjectives & adverbs (describing words) to really bring the story visually to life for your reader.__

There was a pig that lived on a farm. He was shining in the light with pink shining off. He bragged a lot and other pigs said,"don't count your chickens before they hatch". He heard a gun shot **BANG**! The pig raced towards the barn. He stumbled down a hill, shouting," **Help** ouch oh ow". The pig hit a big puddle **spa-lush**. He was drenched in brown stuff (mud). He had been the pinkest of all the pigs, but now he was the dirtiest of them all. He was miserable! He now would have to take a bath, which he hated, because he was dirty. They said," Don't throw the baby out with the bath water".
 * Final Draft**__

He did not listen. He tried to run up to a tree and just brush the mud off. If he hit the tree at the right angle, it would work. He tried but the only thing he got out of it was a big scratch on him. It was time for a bath. He jumped into the tub and he started to get back to be pink once again. He splashed and flopped! It was a miracle, he was finally pink again. The animals said, "why don't you ever listen to what we say, it is always right. Listen some times, I learned that the hard way.

People always try to help me but I think I know it all and it does not pay off, trust me. Let the teacher help you, don't help the teacher. If the teacher asks for help, help him or the next time you need help he will say no because you said no so that is what he will say.If you don't no how to do something, don't say you know how to do it. Ask for help. If people pick on you because you asked for help, that is not right. 9 times out of 10 your going to get a better grade.

It will be explained how to do it, so you get a better picture of the work. Rather than just race right through the paper and get a bad grade, take time to do the paper. Here's the pecentage of racing or taking time, 99% taking time and 1% racing through.Take your time folks, it is not a race. Slow and steady wins the race.